Thoughtful Words

The Supermom Illusion

When you hear the term “supermom”, what image comes to mind? Maybe a polished momma who has it all together, maintains an immaculate house, raises tantrum-less, well-behaved kids, is active in her kids’ school, works full-time, and bakes homemade vegan bran muffins every morning, all while wearing the latest fashion trends with a warm smile on her face?

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I’ve been endearingly called supermom too many times to count… and the only thing that applies to me from that list above is that I work full-time (if that entire list applies to you… Go Momma!). I do not have it all together. Not even part of it. Not even half of part of it! I have a mountain on my bedroom floor made out of laundry that desperately needs to be done. My kids throw tantrums – I throw tantrums! My son squeezes all the bras’ “boobies” when we go to Target. I have never been to a PTO meeting and call it a victory when I remember to sign my kids’ school folders. I pour sugar-laden cereal in a bowl and hand it over to my sleepy (from allowing them to stay up too late) kids for breakfast. I get my “latest fashions” at Goodwill. And I smile when I want to… which thankfully is quite often.

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I loathe the term “supermom”. It’s just a false target for mothers to aim for. This cliché is far-fetched and while the concept behind it is that mommas can do it all (and yes, we can actually), the supermom pretense is that she not only does it all, but she does it all perfectly. The title supermom also glorifies being stressed out beyond belief from trying to perfectly do it all.

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It’s pretty typical to see on social media, in magazines, and in anything else society dictates how we should be living our lives, this deceptive motherhood image. Celebrities with flawless makeup, 6 inch heels, perfectly curled hair and an organic, vegan snack in hand for her sweet, obedient toddler who is playing with BPA-free, eco-friendly, educational flash cards. You know that’s not how she is or how she looks every moment of every day, right? The point of that picture is to make you believe otherwise. Seeing that picture of this perfectly-together famous momma then makes us feel like we need to have a similar exterior. And that leads to us feeling bad about ourselves because it’s completely unattainable.

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When you see a mom who you think is the epitome of the supermom image, think again. Us mommas are all a hot mess… some just hide it better than others. Never beat yourself up or put yourself down for not living up to this unachievable supermom title. Embrace the messy and the realness and let go of striving for this fallacy. Supermom is not real. YOU are real.

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